Happy Sunday, friends and colleagues!

Thanks so much for being a part of our community. Your presence, curiosity and Self energy extends near and far. Feel the reciprocity.

(Sunday’s Pause mailings are geared for all of you–offering reflections/photos/videos applying IFS to my life and inviting you to apply the framework to yours. IFS Professionals can find details of upcoming Offerings at the end of the Sunday mailings (keep scrolling!) and in weekday mailings (which will be fewer once my upcoming consult groups are launched!)

Honoring the darkness, honoring the light…

Thursday gave us the autumnal Equinox, a balance of light and darkness in near perfect harmony across the globe. The Northern hemisphere welcomes more darkness as we shift into Fall. The Southern hemisphere welcomes more light, as you all shift into the revelations of Spring.

We welcome balance and open our hearts to the transition of the seasons.
What helps you do that at this time of year?
What do you welcome? What is hard to let go of?

Each time I’ve joined an Out of Darkness Walk downtown, I’ve been been conflicted: Parts of me want to honor those lost, while other parts want to ignore and hide from facing this difficult, somber event. It’s gut-wrenching and overwhelming at times. Parts of me would much rather find something happier to do on a beautiful Fall Saturday morning.

AND this is where friends come in to call us higher and nudge us into places of discomfort. Each year I participate, I say to myself, “I wouldn’t come to this alone. I couldn’t come to this alone; it would be too hard.” And each year (except the last two due to Covid), my beautiful friend and colleague, Suzanne Apelskog, organizes a team, invites me, prints T-shirts and helps all of us step into the sadness and honoring– in community. We are not alone in our grief and our concern. And boy does sharing this together help all of us!

I’m always grateful and moved by participating. This is the least I can do for those we’ve prematurely lost so tragically. I’ve been directly impacted by the loss of friends to suicide and by loved ones forever impacted by suicide. It changes a family forever.

I invited others on social media to share names of loved ones lost. I cried as I wrote all these names on a white ribbon that I wore on the walk. I’m so sorry for these losses and honored I could carry their memory on Saturday.

May we open our hearts and listen to the parts within us that believe the solution for despair and hopelessness is to leave permanently.
May we not exile these parts and fear them.
May we invite in curiosity and gentleness and ask what they need us to know.
How can I take care of you, oh weary, hopeless ones?

These are parts of us, not the entirety of us. Each of us has something the world needs, even if we don’t believe it in this moment, this week or this month. Borrow hope from someone else until you can believe it for yourself, just like I wrote about in last week’s mailing: I had to borrow self compassion from Erik until I could find it for my injured, depressed, helpless system.

Thank you so much, friends, for your donations to AFSA in honor of your loved one(s)! You helped raise over $350. You can still donate to AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention here:

The organizers led us through honoring each category, designated by a different bead color, as we held our strand of beads up one category at a time

Loss of a:
Child, Spouse or partner, Parent, Sibling, Relative or Friend, First Responder/Military

Or Honoring:
Personal Struggle or Attempt, Supporting someone who struggles or has attempted,
Suicide Prevention, LGBTQ+ Community

Furry companions offer some of the best company. Here’s how I took care of my parts this weekend!

Sending love and I look forward to seeing some of you soon. Feel free to reply anytime with requests or comments. Your input is important and thanks for your patience in hearing back from me.